Recently I was sick, as a mom we all know what this usually means. We blow the boogers, down the dayquil and keep truckin' until it's safe to collapse. This time was a little different. This time I was drugged up and bed-bound whether I wanted to be or not.
Yes, the house got messy, the dishes and laundry piled up, and the children rotted their brains with mindless television. However....anything I might have needed, I had. As many kisses, hugs, tea cups, soup bowls, and pillow fluffings. I have to admit it was a rewarding feeling. Enough so that I had to let go of the chores that needed tending, take a deep breathe and count my blessings. I was grateful that my family wanted me to feel better and did everything that they could think of to help this process along.
Granted, I'm not looking forward to no longer being able to play the "dr's orders" card and putting the apron back on but, at least for a few days, my heart was warmed knowing that even though they don't always say or show it, I am loved.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Book Browsing
Who isn't eager to escape their own reality and latch on to an alternate universe where every beginning is pleasant and every ending is happily ever after.
Growing up reading was always one of my favorite escapes and I have tried as a parent to make words on a page become hopes dreams and adventures for my children.
We finally had some free time and mommy had enough energy to suggest a family outing. When daddy shrugged his shoulders and the kids couldn't come up with an agreeable outcome, I suggested a trip to the bookstore. The kids responded with "yeahs" and "yays" daddy didn't rebut the idea but didn't seem as ecstatic as the rest of the group. As for me, I was just ready to get out of the house and do something together as a family.
As soon as we pull in to the parking lot, daddy's demeanor changes and his smog infested aura begins thickening the air we all breathe. His shoulders slumped, eyebrows scrunched, and frown wrinkles settled...oh boy. Okay, lets make the best of this "lighten up daddy"...and while he shares his lack of enthusiasm for the love of bookstores which if my memory serves me correctly as it usually does, we have spent many hours in bookstores in the past with no complaints; I encourage him to embrace the outing as family time....
The kids take off to find folded adventures in the childrens section while mommy tries to delight herself in the mystery/thriller section. Here comes grumpy gus with more boos and banters. Fine, f* off, I'll just make the best of this situation regardless. Frustrations have fixated my advances towards mysteries and thrillers while fuming and fighting with myself about the current non verbal yet highly intensified setting. As the internal rantings of a mad woman continue, I continue resenting him and find myself searching intently in the romance section. So frustrated with the vampire seductions and the hometown girl pity parties.
Scanning the shelves for middle aged foodie (which is a crafty way of saying overweight 30yr old), that finds a man who realistically farts and burps and wrestles with the boys but is also a shoulder to cry on and mr fix it for the girls and a seductive vixon with eyes for only the woman that he refers to as "mommy" not because of a relation but because of the relationship that has formed and bonded as a family. disappointed that this realistic version of sex and life doesn't jump out to comfort me, I think perhaps I should write my own book. Perhaps start a group of writers for this genre. Perhaps revolt so there is an aisle, a shelf at least dedicated to women that work hard, play hard, wipe snotty noses, cater to their men, and desire the unrealistic whisking away on a regular basis. yes, this section should exist. It should be called "behind closed doors".
Behind closed doors is the puking, the baking, the time-outs, the dishes, the project helping, the bedtime stories, the shouting, the breaking, the messes, and the laundry. But also, behind closed doors is also the hidden romance, the seduction, the caressing. It really happens, and when you really want it to, it really doesn't which is why we should have a book to turn to in times of need. such as this one for example when all I want is for us all to find a book, be happy to be out of the house, be excited to have something to look forward to later when we can all have couch time with our books, smile for half and hour, hold hands out the door and be grateful to have eachother but instead there are the fights, the tantrums, the crying, the running around, and the ear piercing tattle telling "mommmmmy" followed by the inevitable i'm gonna stay close to you without touching you cause I'm pouting and not giving in so we need to hurry up dirty looks.
Tell me I'm not crazy.
Growing up reading was always one of my favorite escapes and I have tried as a parent to make words on a page become hopes dreams and adventures for my children.
We finally had some free time and mommy had enough energy to suggest a family outing. When daddy shrugged his shoulders and the kids couldn't come up with an agreeable outcome, I suggested a trip to the bookstore. The kids responded with "yeahs" and "yays" daddy didn't rebut the idea but didn't seem as ecstatic as the rest of the group. As for me, I was just ready to get out of the house and do something together as a family.
As soon as we pull in to the parking lot, daddy's demeanor changes and his smog infested aura begins thickening the air we all breathe. His shoulders slumped, eyebrows scrunched, and frown wrinkles settled...oh boy. Okay, lets make the best of this "lighten up daddy"...and while he shares his lack of enthusiasm for the love of bookstores which if my memory serves me correctly as it usually does, we have spent many hours in bookstores in the past with no complaints; I encourage him to embrace the outing as family time....
The kids take off to find folded adventures in the childrens section while mommy tries to delight herself in the mystery/thriller section. Here comes grumpy gus with more boos and banters. Fine, f* off, I'll just make the best of this situation regardless. Frustrations have fixated my advances towards mysteries and thrillers while fuming and fighting with myself about the current non verbal yet highly intensified setting. As the internal rantings of a mad woman continue, I continue resenting him and find myself searching intently in the romance section. So frustrated with the vampire seductions and the hometown girl pity parties.
Scanning the shelves for middle aged foodie (which is a crafty way of saying overweight 30yr old), that finds a man who realistically farts and burps and wrestles with the boys but is also a shoulder to cry on and mr fix it for the girls and a seductive vixon with eyes for only the woman that he refers to as "mommy" not because of a relation but because of the relationship that has formed and bonded as a family. disappointed that this realistic version of sex and life doesn't jump out to comfort me, I think perhaps I should write my own book. Perhaps start a group of writers for this genre. Perhaps revolt so there is an aisle, a shelf at least dedicated to women that work hard, play hard, wipe snotty noses, cater to their men, and desire the unrealistic whisking away on a regular basis. yes, this section should exist. It should be called "behind closed doors".
Behind closed doors is the puking, the baking, the time-outs, the dishes, the project helping, the bedtime stories, the shouting, the breaking, the messes, and the laundry. But also, behind closed doors is also the hidden romance, the seduction, the caressing. It really happens, and when you really want it to, it really doesn't which is why we should have a book to turn to in times of need. such as this one for example when all I want is for us all to find a book, be happy to be out of the house, be excited to have something to look forward to later when we can all have couch time with our books, smile for half and hour, hold hands out the door and be grateful to have eachother but instead there are the fights, the tantrums, the crying, the running around, and the ear piercing tattle telling "mommmmmy" followed by the inevitable i'm gonna stay close to you without touching you cause I'm pouting and not giving in so we need to hurry up dirty looks.
Tell me I'm not crazy.
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